Itch!!

Sze is not a happy person today... :(

Woke up last evening from my afternoon nap (having to wake up every two hourly in the night to cater to Isaac's night feed means that i can only catch up on my sleep in between his feeds in the day), and found myself covered with large pink spots/rashes all over which were unbearably itchy (and very ugly too) !!

Went to my family doc this morning and doc diagnosed it as a bout of allergic reaction to something which i've either eaten or touched. I recalled yesterday's event and remembered that my mum gave me this little cup of D.O.M (hard liquor that is apparantly good for ladies in confinement to build up their strength) to consume, to which i dutifully obliged. My suspicions is that it must be the hard liquor to which i was allergic to!! :(

Anyhow, have been given some medication to consume and apply to the rashes. Praying that it will really stop the itch and make the rashes disappear quickly! Thankfully, the rashes are not contagious and I can continue to nurse little Isaac. What will the little one do without his "human vending machine"??

;)

Thoughts from the new mum

A friend had asked me in an sms whether i was a super cool mum or the kan chiong type. Well, I thought i was a super cool cucumber mum until last evening when Isaac seemed to be crying non-stop for quite a while (doesn't help as he has quite big lungs!!). Then I got a little kan chiong and nearly cried myself in perplexity. But things soon calmed down, thanks to help from my mum...apparantly his diaper was full of shit making him very uncomfortable! Well, i think his reaction is typical of anyone who finds himself in deep shit (!) ;)

At first I was a little stressed, not so much over Isaac, but more of Yuan Liang because he was trying to be this "super-on" papa. He was reading up about everything and then worrying about this and that...rushing through his dinner so that he can quickly go into the room and watch over Isaac...and waking up with me everytime Isaac needs his night feed!! As a result, he became super tired, and made me worry about whether he would be alert enough to drive to work each morning! But now he has become a bit cooler, so thats good and i have one less person to worry about! But really, I wanna' thank God for him for being such an involved father and loving husband!! :)

Anyhow, its been a time of adaptation, after the elation and relief of Isaac finally joining us. The late night feedings were a bit siong at first, but i guess we kind of got used to it now...

And then there is this whole breastfeeding thingamy that i am trying to understand. The good news is that i seem to be overflowing with milk and can satisfy his hunger (he's got a huge appetite!). The bad news is the "overflowing" bit (well, i don't think i need to explain further...). Somehow, I need to learn how to try and send the right signals to my brain to request for a lower level of milk production!! Any mother out there with any tips to share? =)

Oh oh....i hear him making his little noise again....time for yet another feed!! ciao for now...

1 week old!!

Thoughts as a new father

Here are some random thots from YL.... :
(He has been missing lots of sleep and has difficulties organising his thoughts logically...)

1) As I was with Sze in the delivery room, a great sense of affection towards her seemed to overwhelm me as I witness what she had to go through.

2) The emergence of Isaac's head is a most miraculous event and hearing his first cry is sublimal. It took a while for me to realise the fact that this boy is my son(!) whom Sze has been carrying for the past 9 months...then it is this unconditional compassion and affection that you suddenly have for your son that comes flowing!

3) Enduring through the sleepless nights assisting with feeding, burping and changing diapers has been most trying for me...To me, it seems harder then doing a PhD. In London, I thought that the sleepless nights I had struggling with quantum theory had been bad but this seems even more trying...Here, you have a human life placed in your hands! But as for Sze, she seemed to possess this superhuman ability despite her relative physical weakness...maybe its the maternal instinct that God has gifted to all mothers!

4) Holding Isaac in my hands and telling him that I love him suddenly made me realise that maybe thats how God feels about us. God wants us to know but our limited human ability and stubborness makes it hard...and we will have to grow and learn through experience in order to appreciate His love more fully... Its the same for Isaac. For right now, he doesn't know that the people who love him are his parents.. but he will surely learn and understand as he grows up...

5) Suddenly, you appreciate your parents a lot more!

6) Anyway, I like his chinese name, 家乐 (pronounced as "Jia Le", which means "Joy of the Family".)

7) What always sticks to my mind is the scent of the newborn baby's head....(which is a lyric from a U2 song... "Freedom has a scent like the top of a newborn baby's head")... the first thing I did instinctively was to smell his head.

Recalling the Birth

It was Monday morning (21 Nov 2005). We were indecisive about whether I should still go to work. But having decided the night before that we will go for a checkup at the hospital and see what the doctor says, we made our way to the delivery suite in KK hospital early in the morning at 8am.

The nurses strapped me to the CTG machine again to monitor my contractions and the fetal heartbeat. There was still NO PAIN at the moment. After half an hour, one of the on-duty doc came and told me that my contractions were every 5 min apart and I was 3.5cm dilated. The doc told me that they will break my water bag to hasten the labour, and the baby would be out in 7-10 hours!

I was at first hesitant about the breaking of waterbag as we had heard that the contractions would be rather "unbearable" thereafter, and many of our friends who had opted not to have an epidural had succumbed to the pain-relief after having their waterbag artificially burst. But, since we didn't want to play the "waiting game" any longer, we thought we will just go ahead with the doc's suggestion and pray for courage. :)

9am: This houseman came by to administer the drip. He wasn't very good at it and only got the procedure right after the 3rd attempt, having burst two of my blood vessals on the veins of my hands in the first 2! YL was eyeing him angrily and wanted to "box the doc" for hurting his wife! I was ok, given my high threshold of pain...

9.30am : My gyne Dr Ben Tham came to the delivery room and broke the waterbag.

10am: The contractions came stronger and were approx 1-2 min apart, and i finally felt "pain" but they were still bearable...

10:30am: I now felt REAL PAIN and was coping via "will power" and lots of prayer.

11am: I was (only) about 4cm-ish dilated. The nurse (Sister Seet) gave me the "laughing gas". We forgot to ask for it earlier!! At this time, I could still administer the "laughing gas" by myself, but I was certainly NOT laughing!

12pm: Two nurses took turns to come in to encourage me...YL was cheering me throughout. With one eye on me and the other on the CTG monitor, he was telling me when to expect the big contractions and when they were "fading off". By this time, he was also administering the laughing gas to me, by bringing the mask over as and when he sees the contractions coming. I was in too much pain and too "weak" to do it by myself.

1pm: "Breathe hard and fast" YL would instruct, whenever he saw the "pain index" on the CTG monitor peaked. I was in a state of delirium and couldn't think straight....all i could do was to obey the instructions, putting all my trust in my man.

2pm: "Dear, you are really doing very well...I love you" YL whispered..... And I could only moan in response.

3pm: The nurse came in and got me to start "pushing"...Dr Tham soon joined her too and gently but firmly instructed me on "how to push and breathe". In between repeating the breathing instructions, YL was giving me a running commentary on the progress that he was witnessing.

3:30pm: I was soooo tired, that deep inside, i wanted to ask for the epidural. I didn't, for i don't want to give in and also know that it is way too late. I gave the additional push where I felt I could. And when I felt I couldn't push, I just ignored the instructions from my cheering team.

3:45pm: Nurse Seet told me, "We're not lying to you!...you've come very far, even though you may not feel it". YL added excitedly "I can see the head crowning!! So much hair!" Deep inside, I was going, "hah? crowning? So? Is it going to be over soon??"

4:09pm: Nurse Seet, Dr Tham and YL in unison, "He's out!!" and I hear the cry of our child for the first time! I couldn't respond in words, and just collapsed back on the labour bed, totally drained... YL gave me a big kiss, went over to stare at our son and then came back and whispered to me, "He's a handsome chap". He then took out the camera and started to snap numerous photos of our son, Isaac Lim.



The Lims welcome our new addition after 7 hours of hard labour.

Announcing the birth of Isaac Lim!!

Yep, he's finally joined us!!

Some brief details of the birth first:

Hospital : KK Hospital
Date Arrived : 21 Nov 2005
Time Arrived : 4.09pm
Time taken for delivery : Approx 7 hours
Mode of Arrival : Natural Birth & WITHOUT Epidurum (Brave mama!!)
Weight at birth : 3.32kg
Length at birth : 49cm
Looks : Handsome (but we're his parents, so we're naturally biased!)


More details soon... :)

Still labouring. :)

Last night, we had planned to go to church this morning if we are not already in the hospital.

However, I think the excitement of the day before (being told by Gyne that we are in labour) got the better of us and we woke up real late. I also felt some menses-like cramps and so thought that perhaps we had better packed our hospital bag and be on standby.

Thereafter, we went about very much like before. Had lunch, went out to my parents' place and went to YL's parents' place for dinner.

For the whole day, the contractions were still PAINLESS and I thought pretty much mild, so much so that I got used to them and very much ignored them! That in itself could present a problem, as I have no idea if they were getting closer in between. It really takes lots of discipline under these circumstances, to monitor the contractions.

Then we were wondering if there is any decrease in fetal movements. Thats also quite difficult as after a while, I got rather confused between fetal movements and contractions. But the little one did give me a few big kicks now and then to tell me that he is ok.

At 9pm, we were contemplating on going to KKH's labour ward for checkups to see if they can tell us if I am further dilated (beyond the 2cm that we were told yesterday). After a long discussion, we decided to put things on hold, as we are really not in any distress.

We prayed together, thanking God for His grace so far (the painless contractions) and asked that He would give us very obvious signals to indicate when we should proceed to the hospital.

YL is imagining that there would be something dramatic happening at night, either the water bag breaking or I would get much more intense (but still painless!) contractions, and then we could rush ourselves to the hospital....well, we'll see.... :)

Supposedly in Labour

Went for weekly checkup with Gyne today. Its the 39th week...and we've got just one more week to go before the estimated due date of 26 Nov!

Did a CTG scan, which required me to lie on the clinic bed for half an hour with some straps and doppler-like discs around my tummy that translates signals to this machine which records and prints. Being the inquisitive physicist YL was, he was trying to understand the signals and noticed that one particular plot had a curve that rise and fall every so and then. He tried reading the scale and noticed that it was measured in KiloPascals or in units of a thousand Newton force per square meter. Hmm, you mean that is called contractions? What was puzzling to him was that I didn't seem to be in discomfort. People seem to always associate labor contractions with pain. Anyway, he had a fun time telling me that i am supposedly having mild contractions every 8 minutes or so!

Half hour later, the Gyne came in, saw the charts and happily announced that he thinks the next time he sees us, it would be in the labour ward! He then proceeded to give me an internal examination and ultrasound scan. To his (and ours too!) surprise, I was supposedly already 2cm dilated! The ultrasound however revealed that Isaac is still happily nesting within me (currently weighing about 3.4kg) and not in a particular hurry to get out to see the world yet.

The Gyne told us that "technically, I can admit you into the hospital straight-away, and you can have your baby delivered by TODAY!" He then went on to say that since the baby is fine, might as well let him stay in the womb for a few more days, and then we can deliver him. He even told us that we can choose a "convenient date" to deliver him. Immediately, the option of "choosing" his birthday becomes a reality. The Gyne explained that labor can be induced anytime from today. However, we chose to let nature takes its course.

We then discussed about pain relief, and told him that we only wanted nitrous gas. As such, we would rather not have the labour induced (as we heard that it would be a lot more painful). During our chat, he told us that for some people, at the stage of 2cm dilation, they might already be feeling pain (and asking for the epidural) and it is indeed good news that i am able to tolerate the pain. In reality, I really do not feel any discomfort, just the tightening of the womb now and then.

Since there has been no "show" (otherwise known as "spotting"), the Gyne said that it is unlikely that there would be any of that for me since the cervix is already opened. He told us to go back and only check ourselves into the hospital when either of the following happens:
a) Leaking of the waterbag / or more dramatically, should the water bag burst!;
b) When I can't endure the discomfort/pain from the contractions; or
c) If I sense reduced fetal movement from Isaac.

So, we went about our daily ritual, wondering when the cervix would be totally dilated and when we would meet Isaac. Meanwhile, the contractions continues, going on and off (about 7-8 minutes apart now and then). And there is still no pain (PRAISE GOD FOR HIS GRACE, ANSWERING OUR PRAYERS SO FAR!!)

And, we're still waiting. :)

Image shot in a chinese restaurant...
gearing ourselves up for the real labour that is to come...

Back from DND

Just came back from DND and came out of the shower.

YL was sweet. Fetched me to DND at Grand Hyatt and then loitered around Scott Road (hanging out at his fav hunt - Borders Bookstore), whilst waiting for me to be done and then fetched me back home.

i looked like a orange whale tonight...hilarious!

No sign of baby yet, though i think he seems to be in the process of getting "engaged". Felt lots of movements and the tummy seems lower than before.

Gonna' get some sleep now.... there's still gyne appointment at 9am later today!! gulp!

[p/s: didn't win anything at the lucky draw during DND but had a good time.]

DND tonight

Its my office DND tonight!

The theme is "Around the World" and its along the line of different nationalities/ethnic group and travelling. I was just remarking the other day that given how I look now (pregnant tummy and all) it would be hard for me to find something to wear that might fit the theme!!

Then, my colleague and friend Joyce brought up the idea of me wearing a punjabi suit (which is supposed to be loose fitting generally) that her friend had lent her....and guess what? I will be wearing it! Its orangey and bright and very cheery....

Lets just hope that Bambino stays in the tummy for tonight and doesn't decide to make his grand entrance into the world as yet....technically, he's still got about a week to go. However, I think I have been feeling very slight and mild cramp-like contractions since yesterday. Not sure if they are "real" contractions as they're not painful at all...well, we'll see! :)

Weight gained

Just wanted to record this before i forget.

Pre-pregnancy : 55-56kg.
Last Saturday's measurement at Gyne's = 67.7kg.
Thus, overall weight gained = Approx 12 kg.

Bambino's estimated weight based on ultrasound measurement (last saturday) = 3.2kg.

Taking into account Bambino's 3.2 kg, the deduction is that:
a) I have not seemed to gain that much weight.
b) Most of the nutrients i've taken must have gone to Bambino! (Lots of people have commented that apart from the obvious bulk gained around the tummy and hips, I don't look that pregnant, looking at my face, arms, etc...)
c) Therefore, I will hopefully have an easier time regaining my pre-pregnancy weight after the delivery....

...yippy! :)

why is everyone so kan chiong?

I just realised that since we've returned back to Singapore, I've received countless similar comments:
"You're so mobile!!"
"Wah, how come you are walking so fast? Should u be walking so fast in your state?"
"You're the most agile pregnant woman i've ever met!"
"Stop, don't move that chair (its actually just a little stool)...let me do it for u!"

Aiyoh, i really don't understand why everyone seems to be so kan chiong and amused at my state. And I really also don't know what they think that i'm moving fast...i'm just moving around in my normal speed (i don't run about).

But then, I supposed i should take time to really thank God for my relative mobility. Its true, I feel heavier, but not so heavy that it impedes me when I walk (only sometimes when Isaac seems to be kicking about or when I am having those once-in-the-blue-moon practice mini-contractions lately). Thank God that I feel fine.

Now, am just waiting for Isaac to quickly engage so that I can "download" him. :)

The Birth Plan

In UK, because there are so much choices on how you want to deliver your baby (e.g. go to the hospital or do a home birth; deliver on the hospital bed or deliver in a birthing pool, etc...) there is therefore much talk about writing out one's birth plan as the due date draws near.

Well, though we have much less choices here, I thought we will nevertheless write down our birth plan ....

So, this is our plan:

a) I will deliver Isaac at KK Hospital. We have decided to opt for the Classic package and opt for Class A ward (single bed - for more privacy, this being our first child).

b) I will be delivered by my gyne Dr Benjamine Tham (hopefully he wouldn't be away or busy dealing with another delivery!)

c) I will only go to the hospital when the contractions are at least a regular 10 minutes apart...I do not wish to be strapped immediately onto the monitoring machine as I heard that its very painful and would make me less effective in coping with the pain.

d) I will not go for epidural and only request for "laughing gas" (otherwise known more professionally as "Nitrous Oxide Gas") This is because the gas will neither build up in me nor in Isaac's body. It is known to be the safest pain relief method, as opposed to epidural where there is a higher risk due to the spinal injection.

e) YL will be in the delivery room with me throughout...apart from being a loving husband/father cum cheerleader cum prayer warrior, his role is also to remind me what is happening at each stage. Our belief is that knowledge drives out fear and as a result, minimises pain.

f) YL, whom i believe is generally the more sensible one between us both, and definitly going to be the more alert person at the time of labour, would take charge of all the major decisions, should any be required during labour.

g) YL will cut the umbilical cord (he is so looking forward to that!!) connecting Isaac to me.

h) YL will bring the camera into the delivery ward, but would not photograph grotesque and overly bloody images of the labour process!

Feeling so exhausted now....

Isaac is definitely growing and i have problems turning from one side to the other when i am trying to sleep at night 'cos his weight just weighs down on me! One flip to the next probably takes at least half a minute, me manouvering all 3.2kg (according to gyne's measurement at the antenatal checkup this morning) of him.

The gyne said that Isaac is measuring very well, but i am to still keep to my proper diet, and not snack on fries and ice-cream too much.... (guess what? i just ate a "jolly lolly" before starting to type this entry! shh...don't tell the doctor!). He also told us that Isaac isn't quite "engaged" yet (his definition of "engagement" means "the baby's head should be at least 60% into the pelvic area), but that Isaac has definitely positioned himself well and in the process of doing so.

After the gyne checkup, we drove to this 2nd hand baby store's showroom, called "BabyTown". It was not a very big store but had loads of 2nd hand stuff...I was quite keen on some of the items like one of the baby bouncing chair, etc, cos they were about half price and I thought they were in pretty good condition, though there were some dust and tiny stains here and there which i thought could be easily removed by giving the fabric a good wash. However, YL kept giving me the "lets not buy them" look, 'cos he felt that he wanted to buy Isaac new ones...!

So we left BabyTown not getting anything, but i would certainly be returning there to purchase their 2nd hand toys when Isaac grows bigger, cos many of them were in really good condition, and pretty cheap!

We went to Mothercare 'cos there's a big sale on now (about 15-20%)....got a few nursing bras, nursing gowns, a brand new bouncing chair and an Advent breast-pump! Felt quite satisfied thereafter... as true blue Singaporeans, nothing beats a good bargain! :)

We were discussing tonight about the impending arrival of Isaac, and wondered how he would look like! 'cos YL and myself are rather different:

• Hair - We've both got lots, but YL's tend to be curly and mine's generally straight!
• Eyes - We've both got two, but YL's tend to be slightly smaller, and mine's pretty big!
• Skin - YL's darker, and I am much fairer!
• Complexion - YL's got dryer complexion, whilst mine is slightly oilier. YL's got an unblemished smooth face, whereas mine have got a few blemishes here and there!
• Body - YL's tall and lean (eats a lot but can't get fat), and I'm just not tall and certainly not lean (ok, i'm actually little on the plump-ish side)!

And we continue to wonder...
...two weeks more, and we may just have a much better idea! :)

i have been naughty...

...had eaten a bowl of yummy "Special laksa" today at Challenger during lunchtime, and then YL brought me to Parkway Thai during dinner time to have yummy otah in coconut plus all the other thai delicacies....

Oh no...hope the gyne doesn't tell me that Bambino is still growing too big during tomorrow's checkup!! gulp! :P

YL's contact number

My office colleague, Lynn is getting very excited for me about the impending birth. She just made me write down YL's contact number on my cubicle white board so that she can easily phone him should I suddenly go into labour!!

Big Baby!

Went to our gyne, Dr Benjamine Tham, at AMK's KK Women's Clinic for our 37th week checkup today.

The queue was so long at the clinic that it really felt somewhat like a supermarket with kids swinging around chairs, etc, and the nurses, pharmacist and cashier calling out the names of patients, trying to compete with the voices of the screaming kids....quite amusing!

It finally got to our turn to go into Dr Tham's consultation room, and in his usual chirpy and charming voice, he asked "How're you and your darling doing today??"... After all the procedural question and chatting, we finally got to YL's favourite activity, going onto the ultrasound machine (so that he can wave and say "hi" to Isaac!).

Dr Tham was measuring Isaac at various positions to estimate how much he might be weighing....To his astonishment, he proclaimed that Isaac had grown lots since the last time (3 weeks ago) he measured him (at 2.2kg). He said that based on the measurements, the conservative estimate of Isaac's weight is 3kg, and said that the ideal weight for a baby to come out naturally should be around 3.2kg.

So I was ordered to stop taking in any tonic, ice-cream and french fries (sob sob!!), not to take too much rice, noodles nor bread!! In my mind i was wondering what then can i eat??? :(

But I also feel that Isaac has grown heavier. Its not so much how my tummy look (cos it still looks pretty compact to me and i am still pretty mobile!), but that i can feel him weighing me down when i sleep at night, if i happen to lay on my back.

According to Dr Tham and the ultrasound machine, Isaac has apparantly began to prepare himself for the big landing, having shifted his position. His head and hands are now on the right side of my tummy, and his legs on the left side of my tummy. No wonder, I felt the little boy gave me a really strong kick at the left side of my tummy yesterday, making me nearly double-over in pain (its the first painful kick that he gave!). Also, now we can really see the obvious movements of his legs on the left side of my tummy...

Oh dear....YL just told me that I need to go on a diet!! sob!

=)

Bassinets

We finally set up the bassinets at both our Marine Terrace apartment (where we are living) and my parents' place at Palm Drive (where I will be having my confinement)! Thanks to Christel and Lynn for lending them to us!!

Contrary to what we thought earlier, a bassinet is NOT a small basin/tub to bathe our kid. It can serve as both a play pen as well as a sleeping cot!

Looking at the bassinet sitting happily in our bedroom brings the reality of the impending newcomer back even closer to home (literally speaking too!).... :)