We've got some personal bad news to share.

Some of our friends might have known that sze was expecting. Had went for normal check up at the gynea over the weekend and the doc could not locate the fetal heartbeat. Apparantly, the fetus has probably stopped growing a couple of days ago (it should have been a 10th week size but the scan showed that its only at the 9th week size). As such, Dr Ben has scheduled for sze to go for a scan on wed (i.e. tomorrow) to confirm the prognosis which would then be followed up by a procedure to clear the womb. This would be followed by a 2 weeks mc...

We're in shock as it was unexpected given that there was a heartbeat at the last check up at 7th week. We received the news on Sat and it didn't make it easier that Sun was Mother's day. YL was obviously hard hit, being the more emotional one. For Sze, things finally sunk in on Sunday when she woke up in the morning and realised that it was not a bad dream. She couldn't hold on to her emotions further in church and had a good cry as brothers and sisters in Christ rallied around us to pray and encourage us.

We understand that these things happen. We're praying for a miracle, but in our hearts we have more or less accepted the news. God is Sovereign and we will accept whatever He wills. As Christians, we believe that our baby has been called up to Heaven and one day we will see him/her again when we too pass on. That is a wonderful consolation! Nevertheless, we're still sad that we've lost the privilege of bringing him/her up.

We spent Sunday night just staring at Isaac sleeping...being so thankful and appreciative that we've got him with us, but at the same time unable to suppress a tinge of regret over our unborn child.

Sze still went to office over the past few days as there was lots of work to clear and she wanted to properly hand over work to her colleagues. There is never a good time for such matters to happen, but its a particularly bad time with so many things going on in the office at the moment. The other reason was to also to get her mind off thinking too much about the sad news.

We're thankful for all the support, prayers and encouragement from family, friends and colleagues. Do we regret letting some of our friends known that we were expecting so early on when we know that things might be unstable? No. Because we believe that friends are there for the good times as well as for the bad times. We are glad that we have not only our loving God to run to, but the shoulders of our caring friends to lean on in times like these.

Don't worry for us. We'll continue to keep our spirits up.

Come what may tomorrow. We may not be totally ready for it, but we're sure that God will give us the grace and mercy to go through it.