Choice

I watched a TCS 8 show tonight, where one of the protagonist was lamenting to a friend that because she is already married and has a young son, she has found herself compromising her ambitions. Deep in her heart, she wished that she was still single and free to pursue her career goals.

I share a different view. I think I am innately someone with very traditional values. My family will always come first. It doesn't mean that I do not harbour any dreams of doing well at work and developing myself further in terms of my career. But when the two compete for my priorities, I know which one I'll eventually choose.

In fact, I had already made such a choice in the past.

Just before YL and I got married, he was offered a scholarship to do his postgrad studies overseas. The options that were laid before us were:
(a) I would stay back in Singapore to work whilst he would take up the scholarship and go overseas; or
(b) We would both go overseas together, i.e. I would have to resign from work or take No Pay Leave; or
(c) We both had to stay in Singapore and he either had to give up his PhD dreams or pursue a local research course.

I chose option (b). I was prepared to resign if necessary and follow him overseas to pursue his dreams for at least 3 years. Thankfully, things worked out well for us. God blessed me with great bosses that okayed my 3 years No Pay Leave to follow YL to London. This means that I would have a chance to go back to the organisation that I had worked for and more or less be assured of a job when I return. However, it still means that I would be behind / 'lose out' to my fellow colleagues that were in my cohort by 3 years. By the time I come back, I could be serving one of my ex-peer at work who could then be my boss.

These didn't matter. All it matters to me was that we would continue to be together, building up our relationship and home as a married couple. Thankfully, God honoured our decision. In my 2nd year in London, God blessed me with an all expenses paid, and full pay postgrad scholarship from my bosses, to allow me to pursue a Masters Course at London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE)! Never had I imagined that I would do a postgrad course, nor one in an eminent university in London!


Fastforward till today.

Today, I made another choice regarding my career. I am unsure how it'll all pan out at the end of the day. All I ask is that God will watch over me and direct my paths according to His will. Whatever I do, I want to have a good testimony at work as an officer, a colleague, or a supervisor. But above all, I desire to be a good mother and a good wife at home.

(sorry for the lack of clarity in my last para...all will be clearer in time to come...)